"It's not safe out there."

So its been a long time, but I'm bored/sleepy and these are fun...

I Confess That In 2007 I...

(x) stayed single for the whole year
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) kissed in the snow
(x) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) kissed a stranger
( ) fell in love
( ) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) mooned someone
( ) flashed someone
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) had/have a good relationship with someone
( ) suffered through teenage heartbreak
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) almost or did get pregnant
( ) almost or did get someone else pregnant
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) dated/dating someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe

WORK/SCHOOL

(x) changed jobs
( ) waited until one day before to begin a project
( ) lost your job
( ) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) got fired from your job
( ) took an honors/advanced class
( ) broke the dress code
( ) sent to the principal's office for misbehavior
( ) got straight A's
(X) met one teacher you really like
(X) met one/a few teacher you really hated
( ) failed a class
(x) cut class
( ) kicked someone in the testes
(x) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a classmate
(X) did something you were proud of
( ) discovered a new talent
( ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
(x) proved yourself an idiot
( ) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) intentionally tripped someone in school
( ) got lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
( ) were involved in something you'll never forget

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(X) ran a mile
(x) seen a live concert
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
(x) went camping
( ) threw/attended a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted
(x) visited a foreign country
( ) volunteered to help out others
( ) visited a new state
( ) told someone you were busy when you weren't
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) driven a car
( ) lost something important to you
( ) lied about how old you were
(x) got a gift you adore
( ) took a nude picture of yourself
( ) got arrested
( ) prank called someone
(x) saw a college football game in person
( ) involved in a car accident
( ) still in love
( ) wished you died
( ) stole anything
( ) did something to prove you could do it

RANDOM
1. How many people of the opposite sex have made you cry this year?
none...

2. Have you ever broken the law?
doubtful, its canada...

3. Have you ever kissed a smoker?
no

4. Is it really like licking an ashtray?
wouldn't know

5. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
white

6. What's the weather like?
strangely mild & rainy

7. Can you see your phone?
yeah

8. Do you have any pets?
one cat

9. What are you listening to right now?
keyboard noises

10. What color are your eyes?
brown

11. What size shoe do you wear?
10

12. Have you ever been called a bitch?
never seriously to my face, jokingly, yes.

13. How about a fag?
nope

14. Over the summer were you tan?
mmhmm

15. What are you doing?
killing time before going to sleep

16. What did you do yesterday?
went to class...stuff around the house...

17. How many times have you seen your favorite movie?
um don't know, do i have a favorite?

18. what vacation do you enjoy most?
summer.

19. Which one of your siblings do you look like?
Only child

20. Do you have a new year's resolution yet?
not really, no

ARE YOU:
1. An ass hole? i'd like to think not.
2. Are you tall? yes
4. In your pajamas? yes
5. Left handed? no

LAST:
1. Friend you saw: Meghna
2. Person talked to on the phone: Kait
3. Person to text you: Sacha

FAVORITE:
1. Number: 22
2. Color: blue
3. Food: Don't have one
4. Place: The Creek

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?
Turn off my alarm

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
yeah

Q: What's the last movie you watched in theaters?
....oceans 13? pirates 3? which ever came out 2nd. (i think....)

Q: Where is the last place you went?
um...ste. anne de bellevue?

Q: Do you smile often?:
occasionally

Q: Do you wish upon stars
no

Q: Are you a friendly person?
yes

Q: Why did you sleep where you slept last night?
because im at school & its my bed

Q: When was the last time you cried?
not sure

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
i can't remember...probably i hope i sleep through till my alarm

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great?
6

Q: What do you hear right now?
keyboard, meghna in the other room, city noises

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
my hand

Q: What's your favorite month?
I dont really have one

Q: How many kids do you want/have?
0-1

TEN EMOTIONS
1. Are you missing someone right now? yes
2. Are you happy?: eh
3. Are you sad?: eh
4. Are you bored?: a bit
5. Are you excited?: no
6. Are you nervous?: no
7. Are you single?: yes
8. Are you tired?: mmhmm
10. Do you wish you were somewhere else: yeah kinda.

ah 2007...looking back, it went fast, wasn't life altering, but i certainly had some fun. lets see what happens in '08!

Things are going well. I have alot on my mind right now, but its all coming together and I am relatively happy. I am putting together my letter of intent for the internship this summer which is a bit difficult because I am not exactly sure what they want, but it too is coming along.

i am so sore from the gym yesterday. too many sit ups and too much weight on the machines i think. well not too much, just more than i'm used to as well. feels good though.

okay, time to finish writing this section of the letter and then off to bed.

A week back in the US...always a good thing as far as I am concerned! My dad picked me up on friday afternoon & we drove back home (more like he drove to the border, i drove the rest of the way) We made the trip in about 7 hours, which is shorter than usual, so that was good. Saw my mom & grandmother, ate dinner, saw JANE! Jane and I then spent friday night, saturday & sunday together. We went to the mall & the diner on saturday. It was a ton of fun...sat at the diner for about 2 hours, just talking, people watching, eating some fries and relaxing. I'm sure that the people next to us got kind of freaked out since we were talking about some pretty heavy things at times, but oh well, i bet it made thier night that much more interesting! Apres ca, we headed home & to bed. Sunday was more of the same & dinner with Grandmere. Monday: Doctors appointments and suprising people at hopkins, which was alot of fun. I saw Tracy & caught up with her... i really missed her conversations and little bits of information about Hopkins, etc. I saw all the fencers, went to practice, etc.Then dinner at the Logans and saying goodbye to my parents...they left for Barbados at 4am tuesday morning. Lucky! Tuesday was pretty much the same, dinner out with the logans & archie & terresa. Then Wednesday Marion, shirley and i went out to lunch (without mila *pout*) and then back to school for the meet against North Haven...which i then reffed (is that how you spell that?????) women's epee & one bout of guys epee. It was a little nerve wracking, but fun. I was asked to ref states, but i, alas, was in Boston. My grandmother took Jane & I out to dinner and then jane and i talked for awhile and said goodbye. so sad....

Then the boston piece of things....
Got on the train on thursday, got up to boston, waited around for connor, met up with him & went to his dorm. I met a bunch of his friends & had a generally good time. Watched the final episode of the OC...my view? thank god its done ;) actually, it wasn't that bad, i did laugh out loud a few times "this may seem random, but i'm a midwife!" Then just talking & chilling out with Connor & his roommate Nick (really nice kid... cute too lol) finally slept a bit, though very fitfully (the result of sharing a single top bunk w/ connor...afraid of falling off haha) Friday we met up with Sacha & Meghna and ate YUMMY food from the cheese cake factory & then went and got our nails done (well, not connor, but who cares) and then connor & i went shopping on newbury street for awhile. then back to campus for food and back into the city for a comedy show that his sister (claire) was helping out with. Met alot of cool people & it was really really amusing. we then went to an MIT Frat party with Claire & her boyfriend (hes a grad student there & it was his old frat) That was an interesting little experience... in total there were prolly 15 guys & 4 girls cycling through. They played Beruit the whole night & smoked alot of pot & just chilled. it was a good time, more nice people and a cute guy....who was like 5'4"...wayyyyyyyy too short, but we talked for awhile. Oh, and claire made me promise that she will get me "saftely drunk on my 21st birthday"...I will laugh soooo hard if she remembers! Then back to the dorm where we talked with nick for awhile and then to bed. slept 'till like noon on saturday and then went to the fencing meet. New England Championships....

The fencing meet was so much fun...makes me miss it alot. I saw soooo many of the old crew...whether it be people from the highschool teams, kids from individuals meets, coaches, refs, etc. 'twas fun. Plus, the guys did really really well (we didnt watch womens) i could go into details, but its really not worth it. there were some really good fencers, some really hot fencers and some fencers that were made hotter by how good they were. that about sums it up! i saw anna which was amazing cuz i love her lol. we were crazy and such.

then back to the dorm (with a stop to get chinese) and then off to meet sacha & head to the bus station. it was such an easy bus ride... 6 1/2 hours, slept for 5 of them, watched Friends from the border onwards.

now its time for chores, grocery shopping, physics and then Greece & the Oscars. should be good!

last night was fun, despite how tired i was. Good company & fun times in general. plus, it was less cold on the way home which makes everything better.

oh, and tim horton's hot chocolate is very yummy. and -9 degrees makes anything hot drinkable. an atmospheric icecube!

work work work...i must study. and i will since i'm going to go sequester myself in the library.

...counting the days :)

so i declared my major today. well, not exactly, but essentially. now i just need to get the forms in order to transfer into that department and i'll be set. i'm staying out on this campus which will be good....i think. i dont reallly want to leave here, because i do like it. i mean there are issues, but oh well.

in other news.....met a guy who i have been making eye contact with etc since school started at a party a week ago, things seemed good...at least for a friendship since god knows a relationship is just a pipe dream. but of course hes 'involved' with this other girl...whose a bitch as far as we can figure out. so much for a nice brazilian boy ;)

last night was the big halloween party thats held on campus. it was fun...lots of dancing, keeping a very drunk alex on her feet until security helped her back to her room, and general people watching.... some very hot police officers (my neighbor's cousins) and other boys. lots of good costumes thats for sure. both kait and i got kinda screwed over, but in the end it really didnt matter. finally found some girls to dance with....they arent all up tight and 'dont touch me' like most of the people on the floor.

i'm doing fine here. grades are good...at least until this next round of exams... kait and i are purposefully finding new people to hang out with. but im still rather empty. i look at the kids who have someone to be with...maybe not a boyfriend or girlfriend, but someone thats there. and when i look around i can't see that happening with anyone. which is depressing in someways, but at the same time it seems that being alone is easy. no feelings, ya know?

its time to go kill myself over Organic chem and physics. damn midterms. the 2nd round already, gah! tho i kicked my bio exam's ass...as in got full marks. which was a pleasant suprise.

i think its going to be okay.

i have an amazing new mood theme, credited to lidi.

makes me happy :) yay animated house :) and i upgraded to plus b/c ive found a bunch of great icons. im lame i know, but whatevs....

and omg csi was good last night. yay for kfed getting punched what looked like the crotch (sadly it was only the stomach)

spencer is enroute here which is cool, we should have fun.

im gonna wear my awsome new coat from h&m (its long, black and amazing) when i go downtown cuz its really windy and a kinda chilly.

done with midterms until november, just got my exam schedule (thank you kait:) and looks like ill be getting out on Dec. 18. at least its not my birthday like i was afraid it was going to be lol.

okay must go kill myself over physics!

love em

i hate i hate i hate everything right now. yet im suprisingly happy.

connor is supposed to be on the bus right now. coming here. to canada. to see me. but NO. because the bus company are FUCKERS and they wont let him on the bus because he doesnt have his passport. only his drivers license. which is all he needs to enter canada until january 2007

as he put it "god hates us"

i havent seen him since the morning after prom! today was the first time i have spoken to him since then.

and now i cannot see him until i come home for winter break. which is going to be somewhere around Dec. 22.

*screams*

i figure that now, as i aviod studying for chem, would be the time to expound a bit on life here a mcgill. the good the bad the eh. mostly the 'eh'

( blah )

but im happy, i think, so thats good.

and now i must study for my chem exam on tuesday. party and a half!

love to all
em

What kind of Dark Faerie are You? (Girls only with beautiful pics)

Lonely FaerieYou are the Lonely Faerie. You aren't comfortable coming in contact with people, and you prefer to be alone. To pass the time you're usually found reading, writing, or sometimes even drawing.Wings: Black and grayPower: ShadowsSexual appeal: You aren't one to stand out in a crowd... because you're not even in the crowd in the first place. This is what boys think is sexy, the way you persistently avoid everyone. It's like playing hard to catch, and they just can't resist it when you do this.What you look for in a guy: You don't really notice guys that much, but that doesn't mean they don't notice you. If you had to choose, you'd probably pick someone about your height with grayish eyes. He can't be too dominating, of course, since you tend to be uncomfortable with people anyway.
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everything is going well up here in canada.... today its like 23 out which is soooo nice and warm. sunny, bit a of a breeze, just perfect.

yesterday we went to the mall where there is an h&m amoung other kickass stores....i got an amazing sweatshirt and longsleeve shirt from the little boys section. yes, size 14yrs. boy fits me ohhhh so well hehe. love it.

classes are fine, not too hard, not easy, just fine. still early yet, but i dont care.

right now im going to bike to the grocery store so that i can make a yummy dinner tonight...burritos i think.

im listing to wicked right now...making me so happy.

this is so all over the place but hey thats okay.

mike wiles and nick logan are coming up soon... as proved by the sketchy sounding facebook posts.

i have lots of other thoughts...about fencing, exercise in general, friends, etc that i'm going to try to put in to words a bit later on

off to the store,
love to all,
em

as hillary pointed out college is supposed to be about classes, so i'll give you a run down.....

Biology - im exempt from this class but idk if im going to leave it or not..great GPA booster, but idk. plus the prof is awsome. we proved that a lawn mower could be considered alive. hes funny and just good.

Physics - female prof who bothers me. but i think she'll teach it to me..idk im not thrilled. plus i have to learn a whole new way of writing numbers. no commas......

Organic Chemistry - pretty good prof, interesting, etc. it should be good i hope.

Calculus - nutty prof...seriously, hes crazy. but good...in that if you listen to the first thing he says and then tune out until he introduces a new topic you'll be fine. cuz he repeats everything over and over again in different ways...making it soooo complicated. but my friend has taken some calc before so she can help me.

Freshman Seminar - just a lecture series...no work, pass/fail, just show up and listen to lectures about different issues, majors, etc i can't wait for it to get started.

and thats all folks.

things have been fun. Nick logan and mike wiles are gonna come up soon...i cannot wait for that. its going to be crazy.

things with connor are good again. he may come up for our thanksgiving.

oh, here my break schedule....
no class oct. 9 (canadian thanksgiving)
fall exam period dec 7-22
last day of exams Dec 22
classes start jan 3
study break feb 17-25
winter exam period april 13-30

so the last possible day for me to move out is April 30th.....

i could get out around the 20th if im lucky.... so i have AT LEAST four months of summer break.
its what we get for having a winter from hell and only a week of winter break.

so amazing.

okay must do some calc notes....

love to all
em

Recap of the past week!

Friday: pack the car in the pouring rain, sit around and read while my mom showers and gets ready. jane logan stopped up, said goodbye to her...that was hard. Then melissa came up, said goodbye to her. Went to Grandmère's and talked to her for a bit, said goodbye and then piled into the car. Drove off in the rain! How...poetic? lol. My dad and I were in one car, my mom in hers. Drove to Putney VT and spent the night at Elia & Nicole's. Watched House season 2 and ate yummy food. I love stopping there, its always fun.

Saturday: Got up, ate and headed up to Burlington. This time I drove...much more fun. Listened to random music and made pretty good time. Got to the lake and hit the beach. yay sun! Ricky and Gramie were there which was really good. God rick is thin... still looks like death. but i suppose thats how its going to be.... The whole family (cousins, etc) came out for dinner so that was fun. Played croquet and just relaxed.

Sunday: Got up and drove to the border. Got my visa etc and headed the rest of the way out to Ste. Anne de Bellevue. Moved in (in the rain) around 11. My roommate wasnt there yet so it was really easy and chill. Got everything set up and to my liking. Wandered around Ste. Anne and got tea before going back and meeting Kait. Shes really nice and we're fine. That night we met some people on our floor and just chilled. Oh and then we all went on a walk down in Ste. Anne.. very fun.

Monday: More chilling...nothing too big just getting to know everyone etc. The girls on my floor are really cool... theres kristin who is vegan, religious, obsessed with Argentinians, and took exotic dance class, there is Hannah who is bubbly and fun and nuts, there is edith who is from Halifax and always happy, Kimberly from Trinidad who is proper but not at all and really easy to make laugh, Kait who is fun, minorly nuts and generally cool. That sums up the group of us... no big partiers, we would rather just hang out, maybe have a beer and laugh. There are others of course... Nadia and Cecil who speak mainly french so they teach us and we teach them. I'm the only one who has any french so its fun.

Tuesday: More of the same... realized the serious lack of boys. seriously...its like 75% female...or soemthign like that. eh well once the upper classmen are here there will be more. right now its farmer boys or the party crew. Tho there are 2 kids...phil and josh who are nice...they are in the party group for sure, but josh is funny and kinda sweet. hopefully we'll have classes together cuz we get along. oh and there is this kid who looks sooo much like dan proulx...his name is Fabio and hes from Brazil. really nice, quiet, etc. 'tis scary tho.

Wednesday: Trip downtown! yay montreal. we all left the info session etc and just walked around the city. bought a mystery by a mcgill prof and a t-shirt that says "harvard" with its shield and then underneath "america's mcgill" which is way too funny cuz seriously, thats what how mcgill is described...both by ppl up here and by people in the states. I met a girl named Christina..shes from Russia then Toronto. We had lots to talk about and were able to talk on the bus back and such. shes fun.

and from there on the days of the week dont matter, now its more about the stories.....

first off... the downtown story...

So, Kait, Kristin, Hannah and I are in Montreal and have stopped to get Ben & Jerry's... we are just sitting on at bench outside the shop eating our icecream, minding our own business when this American business man (light colored suit, wierd sunglasses) stops, bends down and whispers "do you girls believe in government conspiracies?" I pause, say no...... but hannah goes "yeah, why?" Then hes like "because there is this FBI agent who is claiming responsibility for all the beautiful girls in your age group. i saw his picture on the internet...he looks like peewee herman." and then he walks away. we all *died* it was so ridiculous and sketch and amazing.

thats really the only good one...aside from me winning a random raffle thing at lunch the other day. the prize? body lotion, condoms galore, wash away your sins soap, lube, orgasgum- the post-screw chew, and random stuff from the health department. between that and the frosh packages that were full of condoms etc we are going to make a basket full of them to put out in the hall.

oh and then there was the really friendly but wierd bus driver yesterday... he was really talkative...at first in just a normal whatever way and then he kept talking about hot girls etc. i was like "ehhhhhsooooo uncomfortable" but it was funny. he told me i was pretty and i was just like 'mm.... *fakes phone call!*' yea it added some spice to the 20minute ride from st. charles to ste. annes.

So yeah, everything is going well. i'm going to go sit on my bed and either bead or read, im not sure which yet. Some people went downtown today but I had stuff to do so im chilling here 'till they comeback.

i think we are going to the bar tonight so that kait and hannah can do shots so we can take pics for this random scavenger hunt thingy.

oh thats the other thing... every event comes with free beer. its nuts. granted its shitty beer, but still... people get nice and drunk on it.

i've just listened to AFI and now im onto brand new... no one here has the same music taste... eh well.

( sigh )

Okay time to eat a cookie and read! (the book i got is really good so far...its called That Sleep of Death)

love to all
em

( survey! )

school is good. my roommate is great, im meeting people and having fun. and now im off to orientation stuff.

see ya loves

So as i head of to McGill ive had a few hours of carride to think...

No, im not ending my lj since once school starts up ill have random thoughts and stories to post just like usual. and im not going to delete and start over because whats here is here and i dont think its worth losing it. now that thats out of the way...

school will be good. actually im sure it will be amazing. time to branch out, make to friends, do new things, persue dreams. I'm going to miss everyone but in a good way. in the, my friends have affected me and helped me in so many ways that im never going to forget them, but not seeing them everyday is gonna be a bit rough. cell phone and internet will help ease that :)

this summer has been amazing. it was just what jane and i wanted it to be. fun, insane, spontaneous, twisted, lovely and full. so much happened, so much changed. i worked hard. very hard. and then i got to play hard. i travelled, i lived alone, i saw my family, i flirted, i got egged, i stayed sober but went to parties, i didnt smoke but i lit the pipe for my friends, i lived my life the way i wanted to... in my comfort zone but still fun. still with the possiblity of breaking some of my rules, still fun. and thats what mattered, the fun. i saw the people i love. my friends. the ones that make me sane while making me crazy, the ones that make me crazy by being so sane. it all just seemed to fit together. and overall, maybe this summer wasnt that different from other summers, but there was soemthing about it that made it feel very complete. like i didnt miss out. it rounded out 4 years of hopkins in a very satisfying way.

have only two regrets. and though they are regrets they still made the summer that much better. i regret how things ended up with connor. thats the simplest way to put it. i dont even know exactly what i wanted or what i expected, but i didnt expect this and i know that this isnt what i wanted. maybe it has helped me, im sure it has. and it hasnt broken me or anything but its sad and there is a great sense of loss that is gonna stick around for awhile i know. but i also know that things happen for a reason and its all okay. and i had FUN anyway.

my other regret is much less serious >.< i 'regret' that i never got a chance to follow thru on the skinny dipping offers from lyle and this other kid i know. becuase it would have been so much fun. and its not so much regret as cursing the weather and the time frame. im just saying........ cuz there was no future with either boy, but a random fun night would have done me some good. alas ill just have to remember the fun that did happen :)

and so off to montreal it is... the car is packed, everything is ready and tomorrow morning at 8am ill leave burlington vt and head north. get there around 10am and move in... and i am excited and ready. the icon says it...."here goes...'

email: emilie.waters@mail.mcgill.ca
cell #: (203) 494-8246

love to everyone and ill keep in touch :)
em

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